Split Lips and Back Flips
by tweedledeela
Summary: Have you ever had an epiphany? Lily has, and it certainly wasn't pretty. L/J nonsense.


_A/N: Ok, here's another really random L/J one-shot. I have mixed feelings about it, I love parts of it, and others aren't so great. Also, I apologize for any grammar mistakes, I didn't have a beta for this. I did proof read it, but I probably missed a few things. I'd also like to thank everybody for the reviews that I got on Potter and the Pillow, it was really wonderful to get feedback! So, thank you!_

_Disclaimer: Do I look like JKR? ya, I didn't think so._

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**Split Lips and Back Flips **

Have you ever had an epiphany?

I'm not talking about one of those stupid half epiphanies that people get almost daily when they realize that their socks don't match or when they finally get why that joke was funny.

I'm talking about a real, knock you off your feet, take your breath away, make you re-examine your entire life, kind of epiphany.

No?

Well, I have. And let me tell you, it's not all the great. Especially not when you're standing in the shower when it happens, and the shock of it makes you slip on the wet tiles and hit your head against the bloody soap dish.

Really, epiphanies aren't all they're cracked up to be.

Once I was able to stand up straight again I just stood there like a loon, letting the water get cold around me while I pressed a washcloth to my bloodied lip.

I couldn't believe it.

I was head-over-heels in love with James Potter.

This fact had me utterly flabbergasted. _Where had that come from?_ I asked myself in outrage. Why on earth had I just realized this now? I had just been standing there washing my hair and then BAM! Out of nowhere it hit me so hard I fell over. And now my lip is bleeding.

Great. Even in the privacy of the girl's shower, James bloody Potter still managed to irritate me. This day was going to be wonderful.

As I was pulling on my school robes, my good buddy Alice walked into the room.

"What happened to you?" she asked me when she saw the split lip. She didn't really sound concerned, more exasperated, as though I woke up with bloody lips all the time.

I ignored her question. "Alice, have you ever had an epiphany?" I was gazing off into space, thinking about Potter.

"You mean, as in a 'oh my god I finally get that stupid joke' kind of epiphany?" she asked me.

I shook my head. "No, I mean a real epiphany. Like the kind that makes you re-evaluate your entire life."

She was looking at me strangely. "Lily, what did you _do_?" she sounded half amused, half worried, and half exasperated. Wait. That's three halves. Well, what can I say? Alice has always been kind of special.

"Nothing" My reply was indignant, but who can blame me. It's not like I fell over on purpose. "I just…had an epiphany."

She looked at me expectantly. "And?"

I glared at the floor angrily, scuffing my shoe across the red carpeting. "I'm in love with Potter." I mumbled

"What was that?"

"I love Potter."

She moved closer to me. "Lils, you've got to stop mumbling. I can't understand you."

"I said, I'm in love with James bloody Potter!" I yelled at her.

Her eyes widened. Silence filled the dorm room for about thirteen seconds, until Alice couldn't keep a straight face any more and she had to grab onto the nearest bed for support as she laughed herself silly.

I couldn't believe this. Alice was laughing at me! Ok, well, I could believe _that_. I just couldn't believe she would laugh at me for _this_.

I glared at her. "What's so funny?" I demanded, totally outraged by her reaction.

"You!" she cried between giggles. "You _just_ figured this out? Even after I caught you staring at him in transfiguration _weeks_ ago?" She shook her head at me in disbelief. "You're hopeless Lily."

I couldn't think of anything to say back, so I threw a pillow at her instead.

"Hey!"

I just cackled manically. "Take that Miss Prewitt!"

She giggled and tossed the pillow back to me. "So," she said, turning serious in an instant. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Do?" she _must_ be crazy. "I'm not going to do anything! I'm going to avoid him like I always do and pretend I don't fancy him."

She snorted. "Lily, that's the worst plan I've ever heard. It won't get you anywhere, not to mention you aren't that good at pretending."

I glared at her, but knew she was right. I would never pull this off. By the end of the day the whole school would know that I had fallen for Potter.

Bloody Brilliant.

When I walked into the common room ten minutes later, I almost turned around and ran back to the dormitory so I could hide under the bed. Why? Because the first thing I saw when I walked in was a mop of messy black hair, one that I recognized all to well and made my stomach do a weird backbend type thing. Weird.

It didn't help that I was sure that the moment I walked in the whole common room would turn to look at me in accusation. But lucky for me, my paranoia was way off the mark. Thank Merlin.

No one so much as glanced at me and Alice as we stepped into the common room. Well, except for a few jumpy first years but they don't really count. We started walking, and the whole time I was praying for Potter not to see me.

"Hey, Evans!" Damn. No such luck.

I looked up from my incredibly interesting shoelaces to see Potter and his friends all watching me. "What, Potter?"

I almost patted myself on the back for sounding so amazingly nonchalant about the whole situation.

Black answered for him, "We were wondering what happened to your lip. Did you get into another bar fight?" as though I got into brawls as part of my daily routine. I gingerly raised a hand to my lip; it still hurt quite a lot. Maybe Potter would kiss it and make it better, I thought to myself. I then berated myself heavily for even thinking such things.

Without waiting for my answer Potter spoke up, "Want me to kiss it better for you, Evans." I glared at him. How had he known? Was he a mind reader? Oh dear god, I was in so much trouble. If he could read my mind, then he would know I fancied him, and he'd known that I was staring at his bum yesterday in charms class, and he'd know… Oh bullocks, he'd know _everything_. The thought made me break out in a sweat. I needed a rock, a big one. Or maybe I could join the witness protection program? I wasn't sure what I had witnessed, but maybe they would be sympathetic and save me from myself? Yes, that was it! I would join witness protection, and go live in some small South American country, like Peru, or Belize. Belize! That was it, perfect! I would fly to Belize and spend my life living with parrots and training them to do back flips and fly through flaming hoops. Wait, do they even have parrots in Belize? I'm not so sure, maybe Jaguars-

I was interrupted by a rather hard jab in the ribs from Alice. "Lily? Lily!"

"Ow! What?"

"We lost you for a minute there, what were you so zoned out about?"

I glanced around me; she and the Marauders were watching me in confusion. "Um I… just… the parrots. And the back flips…Alice, are there parrots in Belize?"

She looked as though she were seriously questioning the state of my sanity. I couldn't blame her.

"What are you on about, Evans?" Sirius asked me. His voice shook. The bugger was trying not to laugh at me. I was in the most stressful situation of my life and the bloody fool was trying not to laugh. Ok, so I guess he didn't know just how stressful this was. But still, the nerve!

I sighed and shook my head. "Oh never mind. Let's go Alice. I'm hungry." I was determinedly trying not looking at Potter. But I wasn't having much luck. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to _not_ look at the boy you've just realized you fancy? It's bleeding horrible! I just want to drink him in. But no! I won't allow that! Will power, Lily!

"Hey wait!" I groaned. That voice. Why did he have to have such a damn nice voice? I turned back to him.

"Yes?" I did my best to sound casual. I think I pulled it off. Ok, judging by the way Alice was trying not to giggle I guess maybe I didn't. Please, Merlin, don't let him notice.

"You never answered my question." He told me with amusement evident on his face.

I was confused. Question? "What question?"

"I asked you if you wanted me to kiss your lip better." Oh. That question.

I stared at him. I didn't trust myself to answer. If I opened my mouth I would say yes. And I couldn't say yes, not to Potter. Oh gods. Someone help me.

He was watching me expectantly. I opened my mouth to lie. But then I decided I couldn't lie to the boy I fancy. Damn morals. I've never had problems lying before! Where did they come from?

"What do you think, Potter?" it came out less harshly than I had intended. Damn. Not good. That smug expression is definitely _not_ a good sign.

Black spoke up before James could respond. "I don't think you should Prongsie. Personally, I think it does a lot for you, Evans. It gives you a tough look."

I glared at him. "Watch it, Black."

He feigned squealing in fright, and then "composed" himself enough to say "You see? Normally I would have just laughed at you for trying to intimidate me, but with that lip, you make me think twice about wanting to cross you."

Alice burst out laughing. I couldn't blame her. Remus looked like he was fighting valiantly against the urge to roll his eyes behind Sirius' back. I was impressed with his self-control.

Peter looked over at me. "You know, Evans, Padfoot's right. You look a lot tougher with a fat lip."

At this, Remus lost his self control and joined Alice in fits of laughter. Sirius also looked like he was about to lose it. I looked back at James. Damn, that boy has a nice smile. Not fair. He's cheating. Smiling is not allowed in this situation! Obviously this boy hasn't read the rule book. Uhoh, neither have I. and now he's walking towards me. That's definitely not allowed. Where's the bloody referee when I need one?

"Know what I think, Evans?" He asked me when he was barely a foot away form me. I gulped, and shook my head. He leaned in closer. "I think you _do_ want me to kiss it better." Shit.

"Um, I…" Gods it's difficult to concentrate when James' face is about two inches away from my own. "Um…" great. Just great.

Quick! Change the topic!

"Potter? Have you ever seen a jaguar jump through a flaming hoop?" Wow, clever Lily. But at least it helped a little bit, James took a step back, he was observing me with a curious expression on his face.

Instead of answering me, he just let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. I waited for the twinge of annoyance that always seemed to follow this action, but it didn't come. Instead I found myself fighting not to reach out and run _my_ hands through his hair! Gosh, this bloody epiphany sure was making the relationship difficult. I mean, can it be called a hate/love relationship if _both_ involved parties are in love?

"You alright, Evans?" I heard Black ask.

Too late, I realized I was staring at James. I felt myself flush. "Ya. I'm fine. Just bloody brilliant." My tone was a little bit dark for the intended nature of that declaration, but who could blame me? I was hungry, and my lip hurt, and now I fancy Potter.

I should have stayed in bed this morning.

I turned to walk out the portrait hole, glowering at my shoelaces as I moved. But halfway there, I somehow managed to trip over some idiot's abandoned backpack. Never mind that I was watching my feet as I walked, I swear that thing came from nowhere. Stupid magic schools with their freaky, moving inanimate objects!

So, I ended up on the ground, with the wonderfully un-harmonic sound of the Marauders laughing their bums off with my traitorous best friend playing in the background.

"Bloody hell," I muttered from my seat on the floor. "I'm going back to bed." But instead of getting up I just flopped backwards and lay on the floor staring up at the ceiling, thinking about the humid paradise that was waiting for me in Belize.

Or, it was the ceiling until a pair of obnoxiously beautiful hazel eyes invaded my view and the thought of any _other_ paradise vanished from my mind.

"Hello, James" I said dreamily, not really paying attention to what I was saying. He smiled at me, and offered a hand to pull me up.

I took it gratefully and was catapulted back to my feet with no effort on my part.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I brushed off my crumpled school robes. I looked up at him when I was finished. "You know, the way this day is going, I might just take you up on that offer."

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_A/N: Congratulations! You made it to the finish line! That takes skill! Thanks for reading! Review if you want, I love feedback, but I won't shoot anyone that doesn't review. If you do leave one, I'd love to hear what you think of the ending, cause for me, that was the hardest to write. I couldn't get it right. And now I'll warn you that this might end up changing if I get inspired. Anyway, thank you! May you find a beautiful Belizian paradise, and a marauder to share it with._

_-Twee_


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